Hearts
by MrsChipRockefeller
Summary: Hotch and Emily work on a case that turns their world upside down Prequel to Grief Consequences
1. Parents

**Parents**

They were working out of the FBI headquarters on a new case in the local area. Someone was killing off six year old boys. They'd only just discovered the latest victim at a new dumping site. It affected Hotch and Emily as each one of them looked like their own six year old son.

They were just glad to be firm in the belief he was safe with his older brother. While they were at work Jack and Jessica would look after him. Jack had been devoted to him ever since he was born when he was nine and Toby looked up at him. He worshipped the ground his parents and older brother walked on.

The boy's parents had just arrived and Hotch decided that he and his wife would inform them in the conference room. They ushered them in there and sat them both down.

"You've found him? You've found Martin?" Mrs Cleveland asked hopeful.

They both looked down then back up solemnly. "We have. We found Martin's body an hour ago."

"No," they answered numbly. "No, it can't be our son. How did you know it was our son?"

"I'm sorry, there was a positive identification. It was Martin we found."

"You didn't even stop him! Are you any closer to finding him? What are you even doing to put him behind bars? You're just standing around here! You're not even out there catching him!" Mr Cleveland shouted.

"We are closer to finding him and we're working on a profile which will help us catch him."

Mrs Cleveland took her husband's hand and asked, "May we see him?"

"I would advise against it," Emily answered gently.

"Oh my god no no no! What did he do to him?" she asked trying to bite back tears with a sinking feeling in her stomach.

"This man's collecting hearts..." Her eyes widened in horror and Emily took her hands. "We'll catch him, we promise you that, and bring him to justice. We have a six year old son ourselves and if he was in Martin's shoes it would kill us too but please focus on the happy memories you have with Martin. That's what he'd want. Do it for his sake."

"You can stay here for a while," Hotch said.

"Thank you, Agent Hotchner."

They left and headed back to the team. They hoped to God they were closing in on him. They had to stop him as soon as possible. They couldn't let any more parents lose their sons.

"Please, tell me we have something on this man," he said pinching the top of his nose.

"We've got a full profile."

"Then let's give it."


	2. Brothers

**Brothers**

Jack was out with his friends while Toby was following him. As much as he loved his baby brother he wished with his friends Toby would leave him alone with them and not follow them around. Toby could be a little snitch when he wanted to be.

He'd told their parents he'd seen Jack smoke a cigarette and Jack had had to promise his dad he wouldn't again. He wouldn't give up though. He just tried to smoke behind Toby's back now. His friends smoked and he liked the feeling of doing it it felt cool.

Jack was torn between smoking and Toby being around. He just wished he'd leave him alone and let him smoke with his friends. Sometimes he hated having a little brother around when he was with his friends. Why couldn't he just leave him alone!

"Toby, go away. Leave us alone," he said annoyed.

"But Jack you're meant to be looking after me," he answered.

"Oh just go away, Toby."

"Jack..."

"Toby."

He nodded and carried on walking towards home frightened hoping his big brother would catch up with him. He was only six and he felt like someone was following him. He was really scared and knew mummy and daddy wouldn't like him being on his own. They were really protective of him.

Jack breathed a sigh of relief and took the cigarette off Jordan. Jordan lit it for him and he took his first puff smiling. Oh how he loved a cigarette even when his dad had told him not to smoke. It always felt good to do something he wasn't allowed.

Toby felt strong arms wrap around him and felt the ground go from underneath him while she screamed for his brother. He kept screaming for him as the man picked him up only for the man's hand to cover his mouth. He'd never been so scared as he kicked the man but he wouldn't let go of him.

Jack heard his brother call for him and then a muffled sound. He looked towards where his brother had headed and even though it was a long road he couldn't see him. He could only see a car speeding off.

Oh god his parents were going to kill him! He'd told his brother to go away only so he could have a smoke and now he'd been kidnapped. His parents were going to kill him! It was all his fault. Oh god, what had he done?! He'd lost his brother and it was all his fault.


	3. Home

**Home**

When Aaron and Emily got home a horrible feeling came over them that something was dreadfully wrong. Jack came over looking frightened, guilty and worried. They looked to find Toby come running behind like he always did but he never came. Their chests tightened in fear knowing he was just the right age for the UnSub's preference. Oh god, he didn't have him, did he?

"Where's your brother?" Aaron asked panicked. If the UnSub had him he'd kill him.

"I'm sorry, dad, he wandered off. I suddenly heard him shouting then a muffled sound. When I looked he wasn't there and a car was speeding off," he answered kicking his feet.

"Aaron, he's got him! He's got our little boy!" Emily yelped breaking down. She was sure of it. The UnSub had taken the son they'd tried so hard to get.

"We don't know for sure, Emily."

"Oh Aaron, wake up and smell the roses he's got him. Our little boy."

"What did the van look like?" he tried to ask calmly.

"It was blue," he answered looking down.

"Could you see a number plate?" Jack gave him the part of the number plate he could remember and Aaron froze. It was the UnSub's. He shouted, "How could this happen, Jack? You were meant to be looking after him! He was your responsibility! You were smoking again, weren't you?!"

Jack looked down at the floor then looked back up knowing he had to come clean and nodded. He'd never meant to cause them this distress and for his little brother to be kidnapped. All he'd wanted was a cigarette. He didn't want to touch one anymore not now this had happened. He was well aware it was all his fault.

"I'll deal with you later," he shouted at him. "I'll just gather the team," he whispered to Emily. "We will find him and he'll be alive. We will find him."

She nodded looking up at the husband she trusted with every inch of her being. He was her hero.


	4. Match

**Match**

Jack was grounded to his bedroom as the team gathered in the Hotchner living room to try and solve this case as quickly as possible so they could bring home Toby. Once they'd heard he'd been taken they were horrified knowing full well what the UnSub had done to the other boys. They'd all been found with their hearts cut out.

Jack crept out of his room and sat on the landing trying to catch snippets of their conversation. He knew his father was furious with him but he wanted to help. He knew it was all his fault his baby brother had been kidnapped. When he heard the UnSub was collecting hearts he couldn't help but gasp.

Aaron saw out of the corner of his eye his oldest son sitting on the landing but he couldn't bother to even tell him off anymore. How could Jack let Toby out of his sight so he could smoke? He was meant to have been looking after his little brother. As much as he loved them both he hoped he'd learned his lesson. He just hoped his youngest didn't have to pay the ultimate price for Jack to have been taught it.

Emily clung to her husband as they tried to work out the identity of the UnSub. She couldn't stop fearing what might be happening to their little boy. On these occasions it was a curse to see what had happened to previous victims. What if they lost their little boy? It was hard for her to get pregnant and Toby had been their little miracle.

Aaron placed his hand on her shoulder while she took both his hands into her own. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and he kissed her hair.

"I have a match," Garcia exclaimed. They all looked at her hopeful. "The blue van with that licence plate belongs to one Dwayne Schwartz. He also fits the profile. A loner, he owns a warehouse and studied ancient religions. He did his dissertation on Mesoamerica."

"Do you have an address?" Aaron asked trying to keep the panic out of his voice. This psycho had his little boy.

"Here sir," she answered giving it.

They all climbed into the SUVs and sped off to the warehouse praying little Toby was still alive and they could save the Hotchner family.


	5. Toby

**Toby**

Toby huddled in the corner afraid. He looked around him and saw an altar in the centre of the room covered in blood. He hoped his parents would find him soon. They were FBI and would surely come and save him. They had to.

He saw the scary guy come in with a knife and huddled himself nearer to the corner. What was he going to do to him? Was he going to cut him with the knife? Was he going to stab him? He was only six. He was too little for this. He just wanted to wake up and find himself back at home.

He wanted to cry but he wouldn't. He wouldn't let him see how scared he was. Daddy had told him if bad people came to get him he should show them no fear no weakness. He would do his dad proud even though he really hoped he would come save him soon,

The man picked him up while he tried kicking him to let him go but he didn't even seem to notice he was kicking him. He tried to kick even harder but still nothing. He tried to struggle as much as he could but all he did was hold him closer to him.

He laid him down on the altar and Toby tried to roll off but in retaliation the man strapped him across his shoulders and stomach. With his free legs he tried to kick him again and the man glared at him.

"Kicking will only make it worse," he growled at him.

He didn't care. His life was at stake. He kept kicking and the man slapped him hard across his face. Though it stung he just kept kicking. He had to survive for mummy and daddy. They would surely come and find him soon. They were his heroes.

The man glared at him again and picked up a needle. He shoved it into Toby's leg and even though he tried kicking again his legs just wouldn't move. He froze as he couldn't move. He'd never been so scared.

He saw the man bring the knife down on his chest and felt it go in. His breathing became heavy as he started dragging the knife around. He was terrified they were going to kill him. Where was mummy and daddy? Why had they abandoned him? Would they find him too late? He just wanted his parents to come save him. They helped save other people all the time.


	6. Die

**Die**

His eyes closed as the pain became too much believing his parents had abandoned him. He knew he was going to die. There was no way his parents were going to find him alive. It was all too late!

The team approached with their guns but couldn't believe what they saw. What they saw boiled the blood in their veins and devastated them to the core at the same time. They didn't know what emotion to show. Anger or grief. There was Dwayne holding Toby's heart and Toby's corpse laid out on the altar.

Aaron immediately forgot his guns and launched himself at Schwarz. The bastard had just murdered his youngest son. Dwayne dropped the heart as Aaron threw himself at him and knocked him onto the floor. He got the knife off him and laid the first punch to his head. He'd kill him! He'd kill him for killing his son!

The others looked at them frozen in shock and Emily flung herself at the altar. Seeing her son lying there with his chest wide open and no heart made her throw up. She then lay her head on his little body and couldn't stop the tears. Her son was gone! She'd never get to hold him in her arms again.

Aaron kept punching Dwayne in the head while he lay unconscious on the floor. He'd make him feel the pain they were feeling right now. He'd die! He wouldn't let his bastard live when his son couldn't. He was only six, for God's sake! Six! His life had been taken away from him and he'd take Dwayne's.

JJ wrapped her arms around Emily's back while Emily sobbed her heart out. Her beloved son was dead! She'd never be able to see him grow up! She'd tried so hard after they got married to have a child and he'd been their miracle. Now he was gone! It wasn't fair!

As the paramedics arrived Morgan pulled Aaron off Dwayne informing him he was dead. Aaron felt collapsed into tears as Rossi held him. He threw off Dave's arms and went over to the altar. Seeing his son's open chest and missing heart broke the dam completely.

Emily tried to grab his hand but he pulled away. Why would she want to hold his hand? He'd failed them. He'd failed his family, he'd failed his wife and most importantly he'd failed Toby. How could she even bear to be close to him? It was his fault their son was dead. If they'd only found him sooner he might have still been alive.

Aaron taking his hand away stung Emily like a knife. She'd never felt so alone. She wanted to get through this together but it was clear he didn't. She clung close to her best friend as she saw both bodies put into body bags. She just couldn't believe her sweet little boy was gone.


	7. Going Home

**Going Home**

They went home feeling like their world had been ripped apart. They knew exactly now what it felt like for the victim's families they dealt with on a regular basis. They just couldn't believe their little boy was dead and they'd be burying him soon.

Rossi decided he'd be the one to drive them home. He was worried about the two of then seeing how they were reacting. It was obvious they were both understandably devastated but he could see them starting to fall apart in front of his eyes.

Emily looked out of the window trying to hold back the tears though her heart was breaking into a million pieces. All she could think of were all the things she would never be able to do with her son. Every now and again she'd look over at her husband of seven years but he wouldn't react.

Aaron glared out of the window while inside of him he was boiling with anger. He'd failed them; he'd failed them all. He would never fail another parent ever again. He would hunt down every psycho in the States. He wouldn't let anyone else lose their son.

When they got home Dave escorted them both in as Jack ran down the stairs to see if his baby brother was alright. He wasn't prepared to see his parents arrive devastated without their youngest son. Where was Toby? He couldn't be, could he? No, no, no it was all his fault.

Dave sat them both in the couch but Aaron immediately got up and headed to the study slamming the door. He wouldn't cry; he wouldn't. He'd track down every psycho out there and put them behind bars. He'd make them all pay for their crimes. He was more driven than ever now his son was dead.

Dave put his hands on Jack's shoulders and said, "I'm so sorry."

Jack immediately hugged him trying not to break down while he heard his stepmother's tears. He couldn't believe it. His little brother was dead. It was all his fault.


	8. Miscarriage

**Miscarriage**

Some hours later she just couldn't take being in the house anymore. Jack had already gone out to spend it with Jordan because he couldn't handle the grief and the silence. Aaron hadn't even come out of the study for dinner let alone anything else.

She'd never felt so alone and she just wanted a breath of fresh air. She hoped it wasn't going to be like this from now on. She needed her family and they were pulling away. She'd failed her son. Maybe this was what she deserved but why couldn't they grieve together. It didn't even look like her husband wanted to. She was sure he was working on files in there.

She grabbed her coat and headed out for a walk. She just wanted a breath of fresh air and time to think. She just couldn't do it in the house. Everywhere she looked it reminded her of Toby. What was only last night a home was now almost like an empty shell of devastating memories.

She headed to the local park and walked around in the moonlight on her own trying her hardest not to cry again. Crying wasn't doing any good and she felt she was all cried out. She was still in shock that her six year old boy was dead and never coming back. There had always been the worry that maybe she or Aaron would never make it true but they'd never expected anything to happen to Toby. They'd always presumed he'd be safe; now he was dead.

She suddenly felt an intense pain in her stomach and was forced to sit down on the bench. Was this a physical manifestation of her grief? Suddenly the pain built up into cramps and she laid herself out on the bench. What was going on? Why was she getting these cramps? Was it grief or something else? This was the first time she'd focussed on herself in seven years. She'd always tried to be the supportive wife and devoted mother and now it was all falling apart.

A woman jogged up and said, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she lied as a cramp ripped through her stomach again.

"You're bleeding."

Emily looked at her scared. What was going on? Why was she bleeding? Was this really grief or something more? What was happening to her body?

The woman got her an ambulance and rushed her off to hospital while she insisted no-one else got told. They'd only just lost Toby. She couldn't lump more on their plate. She just kept reassuring herself she'd be fine; everything would be alright.

At the hospital she got checked over and the doctor said, "I'm so sorry, you miscarried."

She looked up at him in shock. She hadn't even known she was pregnant now she'd lost the baby. Was God punishing her for something she wasn't aware of? Was she not allowed to have children?

"I didn't even know I was pregnant," she answered shocked. "Are you sure?"

"I'm positive, I'm so sorry. Is there anyone who can take you home?"

"I'll take a taxi," she replied. She wouldn't tell anyone this. They were already grieving Toby; they didn't need the extra grief. They didn't even know she was pregnant since she sure hadn't.

"Alright, we'll get you one."

She nodded and once the taxi arrived she fell apart again. She was thankful that by the time she got home her tears had subsided. Much to her dismay she found her husband had just gone to bed without checking where she was. Did he even care anymore? He didn't even stir when she climbed into bed with him.


	9. Next Day

**Next Day**

She woke up the next morning to feel a stirring in bed. She looked up just in time to see her husband get up. She soon heard him in the shower and shaving then saw him come back in and put his suit and tie on packing his briefcase.

"Aaron, you're not going into work today," she said emotionally.

"And why not? UnSubs don't just stop suddenly..." he answered without even looking back. Why couldn't she understand? He had to save other people's sons. He couldn't let them have the same fate.

"If it didn't escape your notice our son was killed yesterday."

"I know Toby was killed yesterday. I was there too you know. I can't let other people share our fate. I have to save their children."

"The team can do it. Aaron, you need to grieve."

"I don't want to grieve. I want to hunt down these bastards that pray on children just like Toby. I can't let others go through this. I need to save them."

"Aaron, you will save them. You also need to take time for yourself or it'll only get worse."

"I'm going to work. If I don't it's just selfish."

"It isn't selfish. It's called not losing yourself. What about me and Jack? Are we not as important? If you go down this road you'll only wake up one day to find us gone. Jack's only fifteen!"

"I'm going to work and that's my final word," he shouted angrily walking out.

"Well, don't expect me to come in! I'm going to grieve our son! I loved him."

Aaron's blood boiled but he still headed to work. He wouldn't let anyone lose their son just like he did. He would went hurt every psycho that went out of their way to murder someone's child; someone's parent or someone's partner. He wouldn't let a single bastard get away. He'd see every single one got justice.

He got angrier and angrier as his team tried to send him home. He wouldn't go home and he wouldn't grieve. There wasn't time to grieve as serial killers still went out to kill. He even barred anyone from his office unless they were to talk about work.


	10. Funeral

**Funeral**

It was finally the day of the funeral and the Hotchners were getting ready in separate rooms. They'd hardly even spent time together since Toby had died two weeks ago. Aaron hadn't missed a day of work while Emily had never gone back. She didn't even know if she could bring herself to. Jack spent most of his time at Jordan's even though he'd never touched a cigarette again.

Emily changed into a black dress and hat with a black veil that she placed over her eyes in the bedroom while Aaron changed into a black suit and tie in the study. Jack changed into a similar black suit and tie in his bedroom. As he looked in the mirror he couldn't help but remember his mother's funeral and how different it had all been.

Jack couldn't understand his father's behaviour. Why was he not bothering to spend a moment with them? He was allowing his work to consume him when when he was five he took time off to be with him and grieve his mother. Now he wasn't even taking time to grieve his little brother. He himself couldn't even cope being home in their house as it only served as reminders of how his little brother was gone. He knew it was the same for Emily.

When the funeral car arrived they all got in and followed the hearse to the cemetery. When Emily saw the coffin holding her little boy she couldn't handle it and burst into tears. Aaron just looked out of the window trying to blot out her tears while Jack wrapped his arm around her. She laid her head on her stepson's shoulder crying her heart out while her husband wouldn't even trust her.

When they arrived at the cemetery they got the coffin out and Aaron went to carry it. Morgan and Rossi stepped up to help carry the coffin with the official pallbearers. Morgan tried to take the coffin from Aaron but he just fixed him with his famous glare.

"I'll carry my own son," he gritted through his teeth.

"Aaron, you shouldn't carry him," he answered.

"I'll carry my own son."

He walked away letting him while Jack helped Emily follow the coffin. If his father couldn't step up and be her emotional crutch he would. He usually respected his father but he didn't respect him for this.

They laid his coffin down to rest in his final resting place and they went through the ceremony. Jack stepped up with Emily to make the eulogy and as Emily made it he placed his hand on Jack's back while Aaron looked down at his feet. He knew he wasn't doing right by Emily but he just couldn't bear it. He just wanted to forget this was happening. He wanted to forget his youngest son was lying in that coffin.

At the wake Emily couldn't find him so went to look for him. She eventually found him in the study working on files. She couldn't believe her eyes when she saw he was working. This was their son's wake, for God's sake! What did he think he was doing?

"What are you doing?" she shouted.

"What does it look like?" he answered. "I'm working."

"At our son's wake!" He didn't even raise his head. "It's our son's wake! You should be out there celebrating his young life!" Again he wouldn't answer. "Did he mean anything to you?"

He still wouldn't answer but the blood boiled in his veins. Why couldn't she understand? Why couldn't she see he didn't want to remember? He didn't want to remember how he hadn't got there in time to save their son.

As time went by and he didn't respond the blood boiled in her veins. This was the last straw! She was leaving. She'd pack her bags and hand in her notice tomorrow. She couldn't stay here and be treated like she and her son hadn't existed. She couldn't bear all the memories this house held of their late son.


	11. Leaving

**Leaving**

The next morning Emily set off to the office with her go bag and suitcase. She'd decided she was leaving and had booked a flight to Tuscany. It was far enough away from the memories and the man she loved. She'd had enough of being informed and having work take him away from her. All she'd ever wanted was for them all to grieve together but he'd refused to even grieve.

She left her bags in the car as she headed up to hand her notice into her boss and husband. Husband, how that word stung her! He was nothing like the man he was only two weeks ago. He was hardly anything like the man she'd married. She'd seen that man vanish before her very own eyes with no trace of him left.

She knocked on his door and he ordered her to come in. She went in and he didn't even look up yet he knew it was her.

"This is my notice effective immediately. I'm leaving and don't expect me to be at home when you get there. I love you but I can't take any more," she said placing the notice on his desk.

He still didn't look up. She stood there for a while praying for him to look up. Please, Aaron, please stop me! Show me you still love me. I'm going to walk out of your life if you don't. Please Aaron show me you still care.

As the minutes ticked by the blood boiled in her veins as he didn't look up. He'd heard her but he didn't know how.

Soon enough she ran out of his office in tears and got back to her car speeding off to the airport. She couldn't believe he hadn't even looked up to save their marriage. Did he even care anymore?

That night when he got home he found the house eerily quiet with no lights on. He found a note from Jack telling him he was staying at his best mate Jordan's. He suddenly got a pain in his chest and ran around the house looking for his wife.

He couldn't find her anywhere. It was true! She was gone and it was all his fault. If he'd only opened up and grieved for Toby she'd still be here but instead he'd shut them out and got on with work like nothing had happened.

He curled up into a ball on what was once their bed and cried his heart out. He'd lost everything! He'd lost his son, his wife had left him and Jack didn't want to be here.

To find out what happens next read my sequel here s/10100505/1/Grief-Consequences


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